Finally got the rest of kiddo’s soccer schedule! Relieved that there’s no conflict with Eurovision 2024, because that would be a real dilemma for our family.

Saturday morning spouse conversations: “What if I dressed up as such-and-such Eurovision act for Thanksgiving?” “I know you meant Halloween, but I like the idea of Thanksgiving better.”

The most expensive part of this round of strep throat is going to be the 40% of summer camp tuition that corresponds to the days kiddo won’t be attending.

Working on kiddo’s spice tolerance: “My mouth is like an oven, but in a calming way.”

Dear “Dad of the Year” jury, I submit to accompany my application these words that I pronounced after my kid asked to play in the backyard after having a whole park day at school: “Haven’t you played outside enough today? Let’s stay inside and play Switch instead.”